Two-Month-Old Schedule and Napping Tips

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the second you figure your kid out, they go and change on you! I had finally fallen into a rhythm with Joshua and, wouldn’t you know it, he grew! Just the other day, I found myself putting away his newborn clothes to make room for his 3-6 month clothes. Where did my tiny baby go?

Joshua has stared babbling our ears off, watching us walk around the room, and crying when we stop paying attention to him for 3 seconds (drama king, much like his drama queen mother).

And just like there are new quirks and cues I have to learn about him, there’s a new sleep and eat schedule I have to figure out, too.

Two-month-olds eat, on average, every 4 hours and sleep 15.5-17 hours a day.

I tried a new schedule with Joshua that was much like our newborn schedule except I stretched it out to four hour periods, but I learned very quickly that he will not go to sleep on command like he was doing from birth to 1.5 months. Babies have their own little personalities, just like kids and adults, and no two 2-month-olds are alike. So, I will be including a couple of schedules for you to choose from depending on the habits of your baby, but I encourage you to try them out for a couple of days to get to know what works best for both you and your child.

Structured Schedule

Below is the schedule Joshua and I started with. This schedule is good for babies who take naps at the same time every day, respond well to a sleep-time environment (see #4 on my 13 Late Night Newborn Sleep Hacks post), and/or have determined parents who want to win the fight with their baby and have them nap at the exact same time each day. As I am a homemaker, I had no need to keep his naps on a schedule and decided not to add one more stress to my and Joshua’s life by forcing him to go to sleep when he wasn’t tired.

*The times I chose worked best for us. I figured out that Joshua tends to wake up around 7:30-7:40 am every morning, so I chose 7:30 as his wake-up time. I also am not a morning person, so anything before 7:30 was not going to work for me. Feel free to look at the schedule but move the times forward or back depending on your needs.

Flexible Schedule

After figuring out that my son only napped for 25-45 minutes at a time and would tell me he was getting sleepy by rubbing his eyes and fussing for about 30 minutes prior to his nap, I decided to try a day of only scheduling his feeding and letting him tell me when it was time to nap. This was a much calmer and happier day for the both of us. He was way less cranky because he wasn’t being forced to nap when he wasn’t tired and he was sleeping more soundly during naps because I was setting the atmosphere by turning off lights and playing lullabies when I could tell he was tired.

Here is the schedule we are on now:

Help Your Two-Month-Old Nap More Soundly

Newborns sleep a lot longer and more frequently than they do when they get older. Gone are the days of hour to two hour long naps (although you may still get a few of those here and there). Here are some tips to help your 2-month-old sleep more soundly:

1.Keep track of his naps

Take note of his naps for a few days. Write down what time he went to sleep and what time he woke up. Calculate how long his naps are and for how long he is awake. This will help you know when to expect his naps and for how long to expect him to be asleep.

I learned that Joshua sleeps for 25 to 45 minutes and is awake for an hour to an hour and a half between naps. This helps me to know when I should get the environment ready for his nap by turning off lights and playing lullabies. This also helps me plan my day, leaving the chores that need more focus for during his nap times.

2. Be aware of her sleepy cues

During the few days that you are keeping track of her naps, also take notice of her sleepy cues. Joshua rubs his eyes and fusses for about 30 minutes before his nap. His eyes get heavy and he blinks more often and slower than usual. When this starts happening, I start turning lights off, rubbing his head, and singing to him to help him go to sleep faster.

3. Figure out what napping position and atmosphere works best for him

All babies are different. Some like sitting in a bouncer or swing to take naps while some like laying flat in their crib. For the first two weeks of Joshua being 2-months-old, he would rather take a nap in his bouncer. He would scream and kick if I tried to put him in his crib. Now, half way to 3 months, he sometimes doesn’t want to sleep in his bouncer and I have to put him in his crib. You have to be flexible and know that putting a baby to sleep could take up 30 to 45 minutes in and of itself. If your baby takes naps laying flat on his back, swaddle him to keep him from waking himself up with the Moro reflex (read #2 and #3 of my 13 Late Night Newborn Sleep Hacks). You can also swaddle in a swing or bouncer by using SwaddleMe swaddles (#9 of my 20 Newborn Must-Haves in 2020) and putting the harnesses through the hole in the back, but I don’t bother with a swaddle if Joshua is already content and falling asleep in his bouncer or swing.

Play around with different noises for your little one. Joshua likes a noise machine at night playing womb-sounds (#11 of my 20 Newborn Must-Haves in 2020), but sleeps better to lullabies during the day.

4. Let her sleep

If she is still sleeping during her feeding time, let her sleep. Joshua likes to fall asleep about 15 minutes before his 11:30 feeding. I just wait until he wakes up to feed him (unless he happens to sleep for longer than an hour — it happens sometimes). Ultimately, it’s your call, Mom! Sometimes I let him take super long naps and let the schedule fall to the way-side because he has had a particularly cranky day and I can’t take one more hour of crying. This could make him sleep less that night, but so far it hasn’t affected my son’s all-night sleeping. Again, it will just take time to get to know what works for you and your baby.

Also, if she opens her eyes during her nap, don’t immediately talk to her or turn on lights; she may go back to sleep. Sometimes I just shush Joshua or rub his head, or I just let him soothe himself back to sleep.

5. Give it time!

All of this is going to take time. Kids take time! Everyday they get a little older and change just enough that we have to relearn everything that we thought we knew. But that’s one of the best things about being a parent; realizing you made a human! How beautiful is it that God knit together a human inside your womb and gave him or her the ability to want and need and dream. When it gets tough and you can’t figure out how to get him or her to go to sleep or to stop crying, just hold on to the beauty of the moment. Just look at that tiny creature in your arms and thank God for taking the time and care to create this little bundle of joy and, at the moment, bundle of stress.

It will get better! I promise. It just takes time.

You’ve got this, Mom!

What helps your little one get to sleep best? I would love to hear from you! Leave a comment below.

How to Manage Your Time with a Newborn

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I’m a new mom. The last two months have been bliss — aside from the crying and the getting-no-sleep. Bliss because I have gotten to ooh and aah over this bundle of joy while my family helped out with meals, cleaning, babysitting, night duty, etc. But the honeymoon phase is over. I now have to face the fact that I am a mom, a wife, a homemaker, and an individual!

Someone really needs to create a mommy boot camp before Moms have their babies to give them some practice of what it’s going to be like. But there isn’t, so you are tasked with figuring out how to manage day-to-day life all on your own.

I’m still figuring things out, but in the last two weeks, I’ve gotten into a pretty good rhythm with my son, Joshua. That’s not to say there won’t be a lot of adjustment and a lot of days where I get hardly anything done, but that’s okay! You don’t become a professional mom the moment your baby pops out into the world. Your child’s first cries don’t have this magical elixir that gives you the super powers to just know exactly what to do with this little, fragile human being.

The honest truth is this, Mom. You will never get as much done as you did before having a baby — unless you were a procrastinator like me before and oddly enough actually get more done now that you have a baby (we have established that I am an oddball). We know what the Bible says the role of a wife and mother is (Proverbs 31:10-31). Take a moment to get acquainted, or reacquainted, with these verses.

Did these 21 verses give you as much anxiety as they gave me?

Don’t worry, Mom. You’re not expected to do all of these things. Only Jesus is perfect, and as our perfect example, we look to him and learn how we should be. We will never be as perfect as Christ, but we are called to grow each day and strive to be like Christ as much as we can. In the same way, we are to look at the perfect example of the Proverbs 31 wife, and strive to be like her, not HER!

The Proverbs 31 wife is a seamstress and an eager and productive worker. She gets all her shopping and food-gathering done each day. She wakes up before the sun and cooks for her family. She is entrepreneurial and athletic. She does volunteer work and dresses in the latest fashions. She is strong, dignified, and sees the good in everything. She is wise and studies her Bible. She never sits on her butt, and her children and husband praise her for all she does.

On a good day, I can say I accomplished maybe 10% of this; on an average day…. 5%. Let me say it louder for the mamas in the back; YOU ARE NOT CALLED TO BE PERFECT! You are called to give the best you can today.

My best today does not look like my best yesterday. It’s raining outside, so naturally I am dragging around the house and can barely keep my eyes open. I will be lucky to get the dishes washed and maybe a few clothes folded after I finish typing my blog. Yesterday I washed dishes, sterilized all of Joshua’s bottles, did several loads of laundry, and organized our mail. Am I angry at myself for only getting a fraction of what I did yesterday done today? Absolutely not, because I know I am giving my today’s best.

On top of being a wife and a homemaker, I am also a mother of a newborn. I can’t just mindlessly clean the house all day; I’m also responsible for the nourishment and development of a tiny human who expects my attention approximately 12 hours out of the day. If I expect to sleep 8 hours, that only gives me 4 hours a day to eat, shower, exercise, clean my house, read my Bible, and maybe have some me-time. (Ew. I wish I had never counted that up. Now that gives me even more stress.)

I don’t have to tell you that 4 hours is not enough time! So, what can you do? I have discovered that the best way to get stuff done and spend time with your child (read my blog post about being more present with your children) is to involve them in your chores.

I’m sure you’re wondering how the heck I do that with a newborn. Well, I’m glad you asked.

Here are some tricks to spend time with your baby while still getting things done.

1.Read the Word to him.

Since Joshua was born 2 months ago, I’m still struggling to get back to a daily routine of spending time with God, but on the days that I do, I bring my son into my war room with me, read the Bible to him, and pray with him.

Reading to your baby has so many benefits: developing language, conversation, and cognitive thinking skills, as well as memory; encouraging a love for reading; influencing earlier reading; preparing them for formal education; bonding with Mom and Dad; building vocabulary; etc.

By reading the Bible to your baby, you are killing several proverbial birds with one Rock — see what I did there (heehee)? You are giving your baby all the benefits that come with reading to him, but you are also filling him with the Word at a very early age. You are getting to spend time with your Father while also spending time with your son or daughter.

Including your child in your prayer time is also pretty special. You get to pray over your child, but also, as he gets older, you will be teaching a wonderful habit to him that will hopefully stay with him all the days of his life; going to the Lord everyday.

2. Exercise with her.

Before Joshua was born, I had gotten really bad about not exercising. During the first two trimesters of pregnancy, I went to the gym for 30-45 minutes once or twice a week, but before that, I hadn’t stepped foot in a gym in a year or two, maybe more. I had gained about 70 lbs since I married my husband in 2016.

When Joshua was born, I couldn’t wait for the 6 week mark when I would hear the words from my OB that I could start exercising again. I was so ready to get off my butt and get outside! Three weeks ago, I started dieting and exercising again, and I feel like a new woman. I’ve almost lost 10 lbs.

How do I find the time with a newborn? I put my kid in his stroller (see my 20 Newborn Must-Haves for 2020 blog; my jogging stroller is #6 on the list) and walk around my neighborhood. I live in the country, so I am able to walk around our neighborhood during the day without anyone bothering us. I turn on Joshua’s nap time playlist, and he basically sleeps the whole time.

Pushing your baby around in a stroller is great for multiple reasons. You’re getting exercise, your baby is getting some sunlight — which is good for her immune system (make sure to not put her in direct sunlight), and, if your baby is cranky, the stroller ride will probably put her to sleep.

If you are unable to walk around your neighborhood, find a local park or free walking track. We have a local hospital about 20 minutes away from my house that has a gated walking track available to the community. You could take your baby to the mall to walk around or a parking lot you feel safe in, like your church.

You can follow my Pinterest board to get more ideas on how to include your baby in your work-out and to see exercises specifically created with postpartum bodies in mind.

3. Clean the house with him.

Of course, getting things done while he’s napping is an obvious choice, but my 2-month-old takes naps ranging from 25-40 minutes during the day and is awake anywhere from 1 hour to 1.5 hours between each nap. People tell me all the time that you don’t have to play with him every moment he is awake, but if your kid is anything like mine, he still needs constant attention while he’s awake. Between bouncing him in his bouncer and pushing his paci back in his mouth, it’s amazing I get anything done. But I’ve finally figured out the trick to keep him happy and clean the house at the same time.

Bring him with you!

Whether it’s carrying your baby in a wrap or a structured carrier (I personally love the Ergobaby Aura Wrap Carrier), or bringing the bouncer into whatever room you are in, moving your child around the house with you will give you back your time to clean — not all the time you had before motherhood, but a good bit of it!

I keep Joshua in his bouncer most of the day. If he’s not napping, he’s right next to me in his bouncer checking out whatever chore I’m getting done. While I wash dishes, I am bouncing him with one foot (because my bouncer doesn’t actually bounce) and talking to him to stimulate language and conversation skills. While I’m folding clothes, I’m sitting next to him bouncing him with my knee and making exaggerated movements while folding to help him practice focusing his eyes on objects.

Bringing your baby around the house with you allots him more time a day to learn from and bond with you, and makes your day just a little bit brighter to get to keep your eyes on that sweet face all day! Not to mention, you can notice immediately when he starts getting fussy and try to distract him instead of having to calm a screaming baby who dropped his pacifier 5 minutes ago.

I do make it a point to take breaks and be present with my child by singing him songs, reading him books, and just talking to him. It is so important to know when to just stop and bond with your child.

4. Take advantage of her naps.

It will take some trial-and-error, but figure out what chores you can get done while she is awake, and what you need to save for her naps. I generally utilize Joshua’s nap times for making and eating lunch, showering, writing my blog (getting your at-home work done), and whatever big chore I have scheduled for that day like dusting or cleaning out the fridge — things I know I need full focus on.

A great idea is to keep track of her naps for a few days. I made a chart in my phone one day of what time Joshua napped, how long the naps lasted, and how long he was awake between the naps. This really helped me to better plan what chores I needed to be doing at what time.

I cook when my husband gets home so he can watch Joshua because 25-45 minute naps just aren’t long enough for me to cook dinner. However, if this is not possible for your household, invest in a crock pot or instant pot, and choose recipes you can prepare and throw into the pot in about 20 minutes just in case she decides to wake up early.

5. Plan some you-time.

Taking time for yourself is very important. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, you must set a time for yourself to just be you! You are Mom all day. Someone depends on you all day. Let yourself take even a ten minute break! You deserve it!

You may choose one of his nap times during the day for this me-time; an early morning coffee and God-time or a midday chill on the couch and watch an episode of your favorite TV show. I personally like getting all of my chores done during the day. I know if I sit down and relax, I will never get back up. So, my me-time is in the evening. When my husband comes home, he takes over Joshua-duty and I am free to read, or paint my nails, or play guitar, or binge watch Netflix and Disney+.

6. Get a mom-planner.

I’ve been using an agenda since the 4th grade. I think my head would fall off with doctor’s appointments, to-do lists, and bills I have to remember to take care of if I didn’t have a place to keep it all together for me. There are some great planners out there made specifically for moms. My favorite brand of agenda that I have been using for about 5 years now is the Happy Planner. This year, I have the 2020 Modern Mom Classic Happy Planner. I was so excited to finally get to upgrade to a mom-planner once Joshua was born. (I know it’s trivial, but I get excited about little things like that!)

I love the Happy Planner because you can easily remove and add pages and accessories to make it exactly what you need (comment if you would like to see a future post about how I set up my Happy Planner). The Modern Mom planner makes life easier for moms by providing a space every week for an errands list, shopping list, calls/emails list, bills to pay list, and a focus area. Each month has a quote targeted for a busy mom like “Mom hair don’t care” and “You got this, mama” (my personal favorite). I love that all of my lists and plans are together in one place and fit easily in my purse for me to refer to wherever I go.

7. Take it one day at a time.

Figuring out how to get things done with your new baby is going to take time. Don’t beat yourself up, Mom. You are not expected to have motherhood all figured out. You are going to have great days where you get your to-do list for today and tomorrow done, and you’re going to have days where you were lucky to just make your bed; both of those days are just fine as long as you remember to do the most important thing: take the time to be a mom! It doesn’t matter what you accomplished on January 24, 2020 as much as it matters who you taught your child to be. It doesn’t matter how many times you have dusted your house as much as it matters how many times you have told your child, “I love you.”

The point is this, Mom. You can get to those chores tomorrow, but you can never get today back. Don’t hold it against yourself if you just need to rest or just need to sit on the floor and sing to your baby.

You’ve got this, Mom!

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Enjoy the Little Moments, Mom!

I took a much needed vacation from my blog last week. I’ve been writing 1-2 posts a week for about 2 months, and I needed a break!

I was getting burned out, overwhelmed, and depressed. I was having major writer’s block and hating the idea of sitting down at my computer to write.

As someone who has struggled with depression since I was 16, it is hard for me to keep a routine. For some reason, routine is one of my biggest triggers of depression. I think things start getting monotonous, which is actually the perfect word to describe how I was feeling. Monotonous can mean “repetitious,” but it can also mean “dull and lacking interest.” When I keep doing the same thing over and over, even if I love it with all my heart, I get tired of it.

I’ve been that way my whole life. I have quit so many things that I was passionate about. I’m an average guitar player. I have a 4th-grade-choir level education of music, as well as an 8th grade level education in art. There is a space in my closet where the multitudes of unfinished novels I started writing throughout my life go to die. There are several blogs and YouTube channels I have abandoned at some point out there floating around in cyberspace. I took tap for a week, just long enough for my Mom to buy very expensive tap shoes, and was in Brownies long enough to ride on the float in the homecoming parade (also a week). I quit marching band in 7th grade, got back in in 9th grade, and quit the last semester of my senior year.

The point of me dishing out my life story to you is this: I’m TIRED of quitting. As a mother, I get a chance to reinvent who I am. Who do I want to be for this child that I am bringing into the world?

I don’t want Joshua to grow up watching his mom quit everything she starts. I want him to have a dream and fight for it.

That’s why this blog is so important to me. I started it for moms who struggle to be perfect. I started it for me to hold myself accountable as a mother and as a person to stop quitting things that are important to me. And I started it for my son to have someone to look up to as a role model as he grows.

However, I have to learn to balance my newfound determination.

I’ve let myself get too overwhelmed over the past two months. I’ve become a blog writing robot. All I have been good for is feeding and changing my child, cleaning the house (haha), and writing blogs.

One day last week before I decided to take a “vacation,” I was having a very stressful day. Everything was going wrong, to-do’s were getting piled on me left and right, I just kept staring at the blank page on my laptop, and my son was basically crying all day!

I knew I wasn’t getting anywhere with the horrendous mental block I was having, so I shut everything down and just held my son.

As a mom, it’s hard to tell people your imperfections, because mothers are expected to know what they’re doing when it comes to child-rearing. But I have to be honest with you. That day, I played with my 2-month-old son and talked to him like we had never played and talked before.

I have to watch people to learn how to do something. I never anticipated that this would include how I bond with my son, but I guess it makes sense. I’m a socially awkward person, but I know how to adapt to act like I’m expected to act in a situation, so why wouldn’t that apply to interacting with my child — another human being? For the last 2 months, I would play with him like I had seen family members or YouTube videos play. I would read books to him and have tummy-time because I knew that’s what you’re supposed to do. I really didn’t think I, the Queen of Awkward, would be able to figure out how to bond with my child on my own. But that day, when I took a moment to just be present with my son, I learned some things.

I learned that my son is very aware of his surroundings. I learned that he likes looking at our dachshund, Toby. I learned that he loves the movie Sing and the book Do Your Ears Hang Low?. And I was hooked! I wanted to learn more about and bond more with my son.

So, I took the week off from blogging to do just that!

It was such a refreshing week. I learned Joshua’s cues for a nap and figured out all on my own through trial and error that he likes a dim room, soft music playing, and to be sitting in his bouncer while napping.

I bonded with my son when I wrapped him in his favorite blanket and rocked him to sleep. I bonded with him when he slept for a full hour in my arms and my elbow fell asleep. I bonded with him as I read him the first 3 books of Harry Potter and he fell asleep watching the first two movies with me.

I have loved my son so much over the past two months, but in the last week, I took the time to fall in love with my son. I took the time to get to know him and let him get to know me. I took the time to bond and cuddle and love. I took the time to learn his cries, his cues, and his patterns.

This is a week I will hold in my heart for his entire life because it was the first moment I purposefully spent building my son’s and my relationship; a relationship I pray only grows stronger and more secure as time goes by.

I started working on my blog again Monday, as well as really starting to get the house back in order for the first time since Christmas, but I hold last week in my heart as a reminder. A reminder to stop and enjoy the little moments.

Yes, I need to clean the house. Yes, I need to write a new blog post. Yes, I need to shower and brush my teeth — and I will get to all of those things. But one of my top priorities is being present with my son. He is only 2 months and 12 days old once. Before I know it, he will be crawling and talking! Just last night I had to put away his newborn onesies because he doesn’t fit in them anymore! He’s already getting so big! I can’t let all the important little moments slip away.

In the following weeks, I will be trying my best — because that’s all I can promise — to learn to juggle being a homemaker, an entrepreneur, and a mother. I hope to share my journey and my strategies with you once I get more comfortable with it. That’s not to say I will be a pro at this, ever! Each week, each day is a chance to evaluate the previous one and grow.

I’m going to have days where I feel like I fall short as a mom or as a wife or as a blogger, and that’s okay! You know why? Because I’m a human, NOT A ROBOT!

I foresee some blog “vacations” in my future; a week to just rest, reevaluate, and spend time with my son. And I encourage you to do that too, Mom! If you have a full-time or part-time job, maybe this looks like taking a “vacation” from something for the evening or for the weekend. It’s okay if the floor doesn’t get mopped this week or if you skip a day of dishes!

It is important to take care of our family as a wife and mother (Proverbs 31:15-17). But it is also important for us to rest. Even the God Almighty rested (Genesis 2:2-3). It is just as important for us to spend time with our families.

Mom, if you put keeping the house spotless over spending time with your family, you will get burned out and you will cause weakened relationships with your children and spouse. And if you’re like me, this will cause depression. If you are a mother of a newborn, it could cause Postpartum Depression (PPD) or Baby Blue’s.

What can you get to tomorrow or next week so that you can just be present with your children in this moment? Because, Mom, you can’t get this moment back. (Let us know in the comments! We would love to hear from you!)

I pray this week that God reveals to you how to balance life as a mom, wife, and employee. I pray God spotlights the moments that you need to just stop and be present with your children. I pray God shows you how to prioritize and make time for what is important. And I pray God shows you what isn’t so important that is keeping you from spending time with your family.

You’ve got this, Mom!

13 Late Night Newborn Sleep Hacks

I recently wrote a post about establishing a sleep schedule with a newborn (you can read that post here). Instituting the schedule can take about a month, but you can help your baby get used to the schedule faster by creating an environment that will help them sleep deeper through the night.

Your newborn needs to figure out the difference in night and day. Here are 13 hacks to help your newborn sleep longer and more soundly at night:

Create and stick to a nighttime routine

Initiating a bedtime routine will help your little one wind down for bed. It takes about a month of keeping the routine to actually see results, but it is definitely worth the determination.

Photo by Henley Design Studio on Pexels.com

When I first started Joshua’s sleep schedule, I had bath time after the 9 pm feeding as part of the bedtime routine. I changed this after a few days of trial and error because babies don’t need to be bathed daily, so switching between bathing and playtime every day would defeat the purpose of a routine. Also, he gets so wound up from the bath that he would be too overly stimulated to put to sleep. (When he gets more used to a bath and it starts to calm him down, I will probably change it back to after his 9 pm feeding.)

On the days we bathe him, we now have bath time after the 6 pm feeding, then put him down for a nap or play with him if he’s still awake.

After the 9 pm feeding, we keep him awake as long as we can. Now that he is almost 2 months old, he usually makes it to 9:45, but sometimes stays awake as late as 10:30. Do all you can to keep him awake so he will be worn out for bedtime, but don’t keep him awake if he gets fussy. You can actually cause babies to be too tired to sleep if you overstimulate them.

When he finally starts falling asleep but isn’t all the way asleep, we lay him in his in his crib and swaddle him.

2. Swaddle

Your baby should be swaddled during nap and sleep times (I no longer swaddle during the day since Joshua is in his bouncer all day and takes better naps now). Do not take him out of his swaddle when you change his diaper or feed him at night. We use the SwaddleMe swaddle and just open the bottom-half to change his diaper. (Click here to read my 20 Newborn Must-Haves in 2020. The SwaddleMe is #9 on the list.)

3. Reduce the Moro Reflex

The Moro Reflex causes babies to startle in their sleep, flailing their arms and legs which causes them to wake up. A swaddle keeps their arms from doing this, but not necessarily their legs. My husband figured out that if you gently hold down their legs while putting them back to sleep, this helps them fall asleep faster. Be very gentle when doing this. You shouldn’t be pushing on their legs; just lightly placing your hand over them to keep them from shooting upwards.

4. No extra stimulation

During the nighttime hours, do not turn on the light or talk to your baby unless you’re singing a lullaby or telling them a story to get them to sleep. (I stopped having to tell stories after he was about 3-4 weeks old.) Bright lights or other stimulation makes your baby think it’s playtime and you will have a tough time getting them back to sleep.

We turn on the bathroom light next to his nursery and crack the door. This lets in enough light to be able to see what we’re doing but not too much that Joshua thinks it’s playtime. When he slept in the living room in his play yard for the first few weeks, we turned on the light on the microwave in the kitchen since our house is open-concept.

I’ve heard from some people that they throw a thin blanket over a lamp when changing a diaper at night, but this is a fire hazard and should only be used if you have absolutely no other option. You must be very careful and diligent in turning off the lamp immediately and removing the blanket as soon as you’re done.

5. Keep them in the football hold as much as possible.

Practice carrying your baby by your side with your arm under their back and your hand cradling their head (see picture). When you put your baby to your chest, they are warmer and can hear your heartbeat and breathing like they did in the womb. When you take them off your chest to put them in the crib, the sudden change wakes them up. The football carry is less of a change from your arm to the crib and less likely to wake them up. Try burping them sitting up in your lap with their neck rested on your hand so you can keep them off of your chest before putting them back to sleep.

6. Rub their forehead and between their eyes

Gently rubbing between their eyes is the “magic touch” to put a baby to sleep. If you’ve seen Frozen 2, you’ve see Anna do this with her pinky to put Elsa to sleep. I do this every single time I lay him down at night.

7. Softly sing a lullaby

Sing a slow lullaby at a low volume. Singing too loudly could be an over stimulation for baby. My go-to’s are Baby Mine by Bette Midler and Stay Awake from Mary Poppins. If you are still pregnant, choose a song or a few songs to start singing now. I sang Baby Mine to Joshua while he was in the womb and this song calms him down very quickly now that he’s in the world. The nurses in NICU were amazed how quickly he would settle down when I sang this song to him.

8. Use noise machines

Many noise machines have sounds that mimic the noises in the womb. While you were pregnant, your baby heard your stomach digesting foods, your heart beating, your breathing, and muffled noises from the outside world. It would be irrational to think a baby needs a silent room to sleep since they were sleeping with noise for the last 9 months.

We use a Baby Shusher — which has a prerecorded voice saying “shhh” — and a Motorola Baby Monitor — which has a built in noise machine. (Click here to read my 20 Newborn Must-Haves in 2020. The Motorola Baby Monitor is #11 and the Baby Shusher is #16 on the list.)

9. Try a pacifier

Joshua likes pacifiers during the day, but he doesn’t seem to like them at night. A pacifier may work for you, however.

If you’re using the Wubbanub pacifier I talked about in my 20 Newborn Must-Haves in 2020 post (#3 on the list), you can give your baby the Soothie brand pacies because they are the same brand used on the Wubbanub. You should not give your newborn a Wubbanub while he or she is laying in a crib. It is a stuffed animal and can lead to SIDS if you’re not watching them. A Wubbanub should only be used when you are watching your child.

10. Don’t forget to let him practice self-soothing

Babies need to practice self-soothing. If you pick him up the moment he cries, he will never learn to self-soothe and you will never get any sleep or get anything done.

Calm him down and put him to sleep, then leave the room. If he wakes back up, even immediately, wait 3-5 minutes to see if he can put himself back to sleep. In the early weeks, he probably won’t be able to, but you have to let him practice. I know it’s hard to hear your little one cry, but set a timer and distract yourself if you have to.

11. If all else fails, he may still be hungry

If you have tried everything else, and he is still crying, look for feeding cues such as rooting or sucking on his hand. While my son was in NICU, the nurses overfed him. When he should have been eating 2-3 oz of formula per feeding, he was eating 3-4 oz. He never lost his birth weight, but instead gained weight rapidly. My pediatrician was concerned upon meeting him at his 1-week-old appointment. He told me I shouldn’t be giving him more than 3 oz per feeding until he was 2 months old.

Instead of giving him extra formula, he instructed me to give him 3 oz of water and 1 tsp of sugar if he was too hungry to be consoled. (Please consult your pediatrician before doing this.) Instead of giving him 3 oz of water right away, I give him 1.5 oz of water and 1/2 a tsp of sugar. Then, if he’s still hungry, I’ll do that one more time.

I don’t do this as soon as he shows me he’s still hungry. I try to distract him and get him back to sleep because I don’t want him to think he needs 4.5-6 oz of something in his belly to be full at a month old. For the first few weeks, I was always having to give him sugar water after feeding, but now at 7-weeks-old I probably only have to give him 1.5 oz once a week and usually only at night to get him to that 4 hour mark.

12. Pray

Sometimes all that is left to do is pray. I have said lots of nighttime prayers over my child, desperate for just one full hour of sleep. Also, pray for yourself for strength to get through this tough time of little sleep while you’re getting your child on a schedule. Thank God that He is growing you to be a better mom and growing your child to be a more independent little human.

Nighttime Hack for Mommy…

13. Ask for help

This final hack is for you, Mom. Get your husband, or a loved one, involved in the nighttime routine. It is unreasonable to think you can cope on 2-3 hours of sleep at a time. You need to get a full night sleep.

Ask someone if they can help for a few hours at night so you can get a full night’s rest (minimum 6 hours if possible). As soon as your husband — or whoever is helping — gets home, GO TO BED!

When my husband gets home at 6 pm, his shift starts. We eat supper, and then I am in bed by 7:30 pm. Hubby has baby-duty until midnight. He stayed up that late on a regular basis before Joshua was born, so this isn’t a problem for him. If he feels tired, he will sleep between feedings.

At midnight, he brings me the monitor, tells me when Joshua last ate, then goes to bed. I usually get another hour of sleep in after this before Joshua wakes up to eat.

Midnight may not work for the two of you. Maybe they can only watch your baby until 10. Maybe you need to ask grandparents, family, or friends to take turns coming over once a week in the evening to take the night shift for a few hours. Let people help you, Mom! You are no good to your child if you can’t even keep your eyes open.

This too shall pass, Mom!

Your little one not sleeping through the night and waking up every 15 to 30 minutes is just another trial you have to go through together. My son is about to be 2 months old and sleeps 4 hours at a time at night — most of the time (Except last night when he decided to only sleep 2 hours). Before you know it, you will be waking up to your timer going off at four hours in total shock thinking you slept through his cries. You will get there! A month or two may feel like a long time, but it will be here before you know it. You’ve got this, Mom!

Do you have any late night sleep hacks to share? Comment below! I would love to hear them!

There’s Another in the Fire…

I’ll be honest with you. As I’m working on building my audience for this blog, I’ve been so caught up in writing posts that I know will bring traffic to my page and are easier to write. But I was reminded today at church by a close friend and by a song sang during worship what and who I started this blog for — and I was humbled.

As I listened to the words, I heard a Voice I have been unintentionally blocking out for a few weeks… too focused on the what and not the why. It’s amazing how, even when we are doing what God called us to do, we can take it for granted and get distracted from the reason, the purpose, the beautiful relationship God wants to grow with us by providing the mission He has given us.

“There is grace when the heart is under fire…”

Two months ago, I was sitting in a hospital room, broken, afraid, frustrated, exhausted, and so many other emotions. It feels like years ago. I had just given birth by emergency c-section to my son, Joshua, who was in NICU. I had only held him for an hour since he was born and had to leave him in the care of strangers several floors below me.

I found myself thinking, “This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. He’s supposed to be in my arms right now and we’re supposed to be bonding. I was supposed to give him his first meal from me, not from a bottle of formula at the hands of a stranger. He’s supposed to be laying on my chest sleeping to the lullaby of my heartbeat while I rub his hair and coo over his precious face, not under a UV light with protective covering over his eyes.” And somehow in that moment, over all of the other anxious emotions I felt — because, yes, they were still there — was a divine peace. A comforting Hand on my heart. A still, small voice saying, “It’s going to be alright. You don’t see it now, but it will all work out for My Good. You have a hard road ahead, but it will get better. Keep fighting. You are not alone.”

“I won’t bow down to the things of this world…”

As the hours in the hospital grew to days, I was able to see my baby more and more, but I also learned a valuable lesson in this time. I learned that I had no idea what I was doing!

Women are made to believe that the moment your child is born you have immediate Mom-instincts. You become Super Mom and automatically know how to take care of your child. The funny thing is, well-seasoned Mom’s know this isn’t true, but we preserve the myth anyway.

I think we do this because we still listen to the lie of the world that moms have to be perfect. We may not hear these exact words, but more and more we’re hearing about new things that can hurt our children. All of a sudden, we have to become an expert in science, nutrition, child-care, psychology, and pediatrics to be able to make the right decision for our children. And the world is watching — via social media — for the moment they think we have made the wrong decision. And they are going to let you know! It’s just unrealistic to believe you have to know exactly what you’re doing the moment you bring that bundle of joy into the world.

I suffered unnecessary frustration, self-doubt, and self-rebuking for being what I thought was a terrible mother because my child was several days old and I still wasn’t feeling that maternal instinct everyone promised I would gain.

“I can see the light in the darkness… I can feel the ground shake beneath us…”

There are still moments and hours and days when I feel less-than as a mother to Joshua. When someone can get him to stop crying when I can’t. When I’m 5 minutes late for his next feeding. When the AC gets under 70 degrees for just a few minutes. When I feel like everyone else is a better Mom to my son than me.

It’s in those moments that God shows me the light in the darkness. “You’ll figure out how to get him to stop crying; it just takes practice.” “He won’t starve if he didn’t get the bottle at exactly 3:00.” “He has socks and a hat on. He’s not cold. You checked him just a few minutes ago.” “You can do this! You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength.” “Cast all your anxieties on Christ because He cares for you.”

“Should I ever need reminding of how Good You’ve been to me…”

I praise God for the trials, the hard moments, and the tests. I wouldn’t trade them for anything. Even when my son is screaming, and I can’t get him to stop; I still love those moments. Yes, I’m gritting my teeth and pulling my hair with frustration, but I can still look back later — when he’s finally asleep — and appreciate those moments.

I can be joyful that my son is healthy (and has a great set of lungs). I can be full of glee that he’s my baby (I know because he has my stubbornness and determination). I can be awe-struck by the masterful hands of the Creator, stitching us together piece-by-piece in our mother’s womb in such a way that we have the ability to scream when we’re hungry, or dirty, or frustrated. I can be humbled that God chose me of all people to be Joshua’s mother and know that He will provide me with strength and Holy Spirit Wisdom to do what I need to do to nurture, love, and raise up this baby (click here to read my post on praying to be a “Good” Mom rather than a “good” Mom).

I can also be thankful for the trials because I know they are teaching me and growing me to be a better mother. And in those moments I praise God.

“Count it all joy, my [sisters], when you meet trials
of various kinds, for you know that the testing of
your faith produces steadfastness.”
James 1:2-3

(Click here to read 100 verses about being thankful in our trails.)

“I’ll count the joy come every battle ’cause I know that’s where you’ll be…”

Image result for count the joy come every battle cuz i know that's where you'll be

I was reminded this morning that I started this blog for Mom’s to know that they don’t have to strive to be perfect. None of us are professional mothers; we figure it out as we go along and should expect some mess-ups and do-overs along the way. But guess what? There’s another in the fire standing next to you. You are not alone, Mom, even if you think you are. If you have never felt more alone than this moment, know that He is still there holding back the seas. We’re going to sink some, just like Peter, but God is there to pick us back up every single time. It’s our job to accept His hand.

But here’s the most important part. Don’t think He’s going to pull you out of the waves and put you on the shore. We still have to face these trials, these waves so that we can grow. But if you let Him, He will walk right beside you the whole way!

I pray that you will feel His presence today and will allow Him to take your anxieties and give you peace. Whatever trial you are feeling as a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a co-worker, an employee, I pray that God reveals the light at the end of the darkness to you. I pray God shows you the joy in this trial; a joy and a peace that you can’t explain. You’ve got this, Mom!

What song has been speaking to you lately? Let me know in the comments. I would love to hear from you!

Establishing a Newborn Sleep Schedule

Should I establish a sleep schedule with my newborn?

Does it really work? Is it really worth the stress?

Don’t babies just make their own schedules?

Well, yes and no. Of course a baby is going to cry when they’re hungry or tired or need a diaper change, but establishing a schedule early on will get them in more of a routine so you will have a better idea of when that cry is coming. Here are some pros of establishing a sleep schedule, and because I’m a realist, I’m providing you with some cons as well. I want you to know that it will be hard and you will feel like you haven’t slept since he was born, but in the end (after about a month) it will be worth it!

Pros of Establishing a Sleep Schedule

You can schedule your day around feeding times

I know when to schedule doctor’s appointments, cooking meals, doing chores, exercising, etc. because I have a really good idea of when he is going to want to eat.

2. If people want to come see him, I know exactly when to tell them to come over because I know when he will be awake.

I can’t imagine how people handle this, maybe because I’m a huge planner. I have to know exactly what’s going on throughout the day. I have a “game plan” all mapped out in my mind.

But I would also hate having to wake my baby up when he’s in a deep sleep just to see someone. Sometimes it’s so hard to get him to fall asleep, so I really hate waking him up for no reason.

3. You never have to guess what time you fed him last.

I don’t know about you, but I am super forgetful. My husband can tell me something, and then a minute later I have to ask him what he said. I know Joshua’s schedule by heart after almost 2 months of using it, so I never have to worry about how long it’s been since he ate.

4. They figure out the difference in night and day

Babies don’t come out of the womb knowing the difference in night and day. It is very important for your sanity to help them figure this out. (You will see in my schedule below how you can do that.)

5. Your baby will sleep longer at night

Babies sometimes sleep as little as 15 minutes. You want your child to learn to have these cat naps during the day and save the long stretches of sleep for nighttime.

6. You can start right away with establishing the schedule

While doing research for this post, I read a few articles that said you could wait until your child is a month old to start establishing a schedule. I don’t agree with this. My son was in NICU, so from the very beginning he was on a feeding schedule. When I brought him home at almost a week old, I stayed on the schedule. It takes about a month for babies to learn the schedule, so why not start that month from the very beginning? If you start later, you have to break the habit of them getting food whenever they want it which can lead to overfeeding and more stress of breaking one schedule and starting a new one.

If you haven’t started a schedule, go ahead and start now. It’s never too late, it just may be a little harder.

Cons of Establishing a Sleep Schedule

Sometimes babies just make their own schedules

Even though I have him on schedule, sometimes (maybe once a day, but usually not) he wants to eat about 15-30 minutes early. About half the time I can distract him with a pacifier or by taking him on a walk, but if he’s not having it then I will feed him. You shouldn’t make your baby wait just to stay on schedule if they are really upset.

2. You have to be really determined

It’s going to take some time. Joshua didn’t stick to the schedule until about a month in.

You will also have to hold your family and friends to the schedule when they watch your child. There will be some who complain, but stick to it, Mom! When you finally start seeing results, it will all be worth it!

3. Babies want to sleep right after they feed

You will see in the schedule that you should play with your baby after they eat during the day. However, newborns have a tough time staying awake with a full belly. You will have to try very hard and get pretty creative to keep them awake, but as long as you can get a minimum of 10 minutes of play from them in the early weeks, you can put them back down for a nap. My son is almost 2 months old and he finally doesn’t fall straight to sleep after feeding during the day.

4. You’re going to have to let them learn to self-soothe

As a mom, it hurts to hear your baby cry, but you shouldn’t pick them up right away if it’s not time to feed. Let them cry for about 3-5 minutes (closer to 3 at the beginning of establishing the schedule) to allow them to learn to self-soothe. If you don’t, then they won’t learn to put themselves back to sleep. The first time my son soothed himself back to sleep after about 2 minutes of crying I thought I was dreaming! I was almost too surprised to go back to bed! You will get there, Mom! Just set a timer and distract yourself for those 3-5 minutes.

5. You have to be a little flexible

Sometimes you will have to feed early because your baby can’t make it the 3 hours, but that’s okay! You are Mom. You know what’s best for your child. You have the final say. It may take a few days or weeks of stress to feel confident in your decision-making, but very soon you will be a pro!

Joshua’s Sleep Schedule

I found this sleep schedule on the All Spruced up in AK blog and modified it to fit my child and my life, as I encourage you to do as you establish your own schedule. Click here to read her original post about the schedule.

Here is my modified version that works best for me and Joshua. I’m starting at our nighttime schedule so I can better explain how our day begins:

9:00 pm — Diaper change and feed. Try to keep him awake as long as you possibly can. Now that Joshua is 2 months old, my husband can keep him awake for up to an hour and a half. The longer he stays awake the better he will sleep through the night, but don’t fight him. If he gets too overstimulated and cranky, put him to sleep.

11:00 pm to 9:00 am — Change diaper and feed every 2-4 hours. When they’re a month old, change this to every 3-4 hours. Wake to feed if they make it to 4 hours (I set a timer for every 4 hours just in case, but he didn’t make it to 4 hours until he was 5-6 weeks old.) Make sure to read the next section about how to keep them sleepy after each feeding.

8:00 to 9:30 am — This time depends on when they last ate during the night, but the goal is to make it to 9 am to start your schedule. I make Joshua wait at least 2.5 hours ever since he turned 1 month old, but before a month, you shouldn’t feed earlier than 2 hours if you can help it. So, for instance, if he ate at 5:30 am, I want him to eat again at 9 am to get the schedule back on track. But if he wakes up at 8 am wanting a bottle, I will give it to him, but no earlier than 2.5 hours. If he happens to eat at 7:30 am, I will wake him up at 9:30 am to start the day. It’s 2 hours, but if you wait till 10 am to feed, it can throw your baby off their schedule. This block of time is important to getting him on his schedule for the day. (You’ll get the hang of this after a week of having to make these decisions and figuring out what works best for you and baby. To start the day, I turn on all the lights in the rooms I will be using, change his diaper, and then feed him. After feeding is playtime. A newborn (less than a month old) should play for 10-30 minutes. When they start getting cranky, put them down for a nap.

From here on out, my schedule is less flexible until bedtime (unless he gets hungry early and can’t make it to the next feed).

12:00 pm — Change diaper and feed. Playtime for 10-30 minutes. Lay them down for a nap. (I suggest making your own lunch at 11 am. Too many times in the early stages of establishing a schedule did I wait till 11:30 to eat and he decided to wake up while I was eating.)

3:00 pm — Change diaper and feed. Playtime for 10-30 minutes. Lay them down for a nap.

6:00 pm — Change diaper and feed. Bath time every other day. If it’s not bath day, then playtime for 10-30 minutes. Lay them down for a nap.

9:00 pm — Repeat schedule.

*At a month old, my son was more aware and wanted to play more after each nap. I got tired of trying to get him back to sleep every 15-30 minutes, so I stopped laying him in his crib during the day. He now sleeps in his bouncer during the day and when he wakes up I play with him until he falls back to sleep.

** Need some tips on how to help your newborn sleep longer and deeper at night? Read my 13 Late Night Newborn Sleep Hacks post.

Sleep Schedule for Mama

It is irrational to think that Mama doesn’t need more than 2-3 hours of sleep at a time for the first 4 months of a baby’s life (and some kids don’t sleep through the night until they’re several years old). Talk to your husband, or whoever will be helping you, about taking over for a few hours at night so you can get some sleep. (Click here to read my blog post about letting Daddy be Daddy and why it’s important for both of you to share the schedule.)

Here’s how my husband and I share the schedule:

6:00 pm — Husband’s shift starts. I can have me-time, shower, cook, or whatever I need to do. I do help with bath time because that tends to be a two-person job.

7:00 pm — We eat supper together.

7:30 pm — I go to bed. Sometimes I wait till 8 or 8:30 to go to bed, but I always regret it.

12:00 am — Husband’s shift ends. He brings me the baby monitor and tells me what time the baby last ate. I set an alarm for the next feeding and fall back to sleep (before Joshua was used to the schedule, I would get up and sleep on the couch until he was ready to eat because this part of the night consisted of me waking up every 15-30 minutes to rock him back to sleep and I didn’t want to wake my husband up).

1:20 am — This is when Joshua tends to wake up now. When he wakes, I bring my phone and the monitor to the couch so I can sleep there the rest of the morning after feeding him and my husband can get an uninterrupted sleep before work.

Remember, Mom, this is going to take time, determination, patience, and prayer. Stick to it the best you can, but know your limits. Don’t berate yourself when it seems like nothing’s changing. It’s a slow process, but the end result is worth it!

“… Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith …”
Hebrews 12:1-2

“Cast all your anxiety on Him
because He cares for you.”
1 Peter 5:7

You’ve got this, Mom!

If you found this post helpful make sure to read my sequel post: 13 Late Night Newborn Sleep Hacks .

20 Newborn Must-Haves in 2020

Disclosure: “You’ve Got This, Mom!” participates in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program providing a means for sites to earn advertising fees by linking to Amazon.com. Most product links lead directly to Amazon.com.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Can you believe it’s 2020? At church on Sunday, my pastor said, “This is the last Sunday of this decade.” How weird is that? We are in a whole new decade! Look back at the last 10 years. Boy, how you’ve changed. Now, look forward on the next 10 years. Looking back makes 10 years seem like forever. But looking forward… looking at my 7-week-old asleep in his bouncer and realizing that in 2030 he will be 10 years old… makes it feel like a decade is not long at all.

If being a mom has changed at all in the last decade, technology has definitely made it just a little bit easier on us! There are so many products that this generation of moms take for granted that my mom just stares at and says, “Wow, I wish we had that when you were a baby!” We are so blessed to have these products at our fingertips!

Check out my 20 favorite products that I couldn’t live without! (Click here to follow my Pinterest board of “Must-Have Newborn Products.”)

Bottles and Pacifiers

Bottle Sterilizer

What did we do before bottle sterilizers? Oh, that’s right. We boiled nipples. I’ve never had to do it, thank God, but I hear nothing but dismay from the previous generation of Moms about it. With a sterilizer, you don’t have to wait for a pot to boil or worry about leaving the stove on. It is an absolute blessing to be able to pop the bottles in the sterilizer, push the button, and walk away.

I personally use the First Years Power of Steam Electric Sterilizer. I love how tall it is, letting you sterilize up to 5 bottles and about a dozen nipples at one time, but skinny enough that it takes up very little room on my cabinet. It takes about 13 minutes to sterilize and most of the parts are dishwasher safe. The base that plugs into the wall just has to be cleaned with a damp cloth, so keeping this sterilizer clean is ideal for a Mom who doesn’t want to spend much time cleaning one more appliance, like me! The only possible con is that ever since I’ve had the sterilizer — almost 2 months — the light that turns on while it’s sterilizing doesn’t stay on the whole time so you have to guess when it’s done. This really isn’t a problem for me because I hardly ever sterilize bottles right before I need them. So, I just turn on the sterilizer and know that the next time I need a bottle they will be ready. When I do need a bottle immediately after sterilizing, I just set a timer on my phone for 13 minutes.

I drop my son off with my parents once a week to watch him while I work. They decided to buy a steamer for their house and purchased the Munchkin Steam Guard Microwave Bottle Sterilizer. This is great for grandparents or other family members who will be watching your baby often because of the size. The Munchkin Sterilizer fits in the microwave and can be easily tucked away in the cabinet when not in use. There are no plug-ins, so the entire sterilizer is dishwasher safe. Also, it costs less than $20 which is great since my parents will only be using it once a week and didn’t need to spend a ton of money on one.

A great sterilizer to have on hand for travel is the Medela Quick Clean Micro-Steam Sanitizing Bags. These were a life saver when I was in the ER 4 times in two weeks after Joshua was born and I was still breast pumping. These bags go in the microwave and can be used up to 20 times before throwing them away. They are small and lay flat, so they take up virtually no space and only take about 3 minutes to sterilize. They are also great if you don’t want to spend the money on a sterilizer, although, eventually you will be spending more money on the bags then a one-time purchase of the electric steamer. We decided to keep a stash of these bags for travel so we wouldn’t have to bring the electric sterilizer. You can get the bags in a 5 count for under $7, a 12 count for under $11, or a 20 count for under $20.

2. Bottle Drying Rack

You’ve probably seen the absolutely precious bottle drying racks that look like a patch of grass. They’re not just adorable, they are incredibly functional. The Boon Drying Rack comes in 3 sizes: Lawn — the biggest size, Grass — the small square, and Patch — the narrow rectangle. I personally have the Lawn and the Grass because of the number of bottles I have and the amount of space I have available on my cabinet, but I can see the Patch being great for traveling. The size you need is up to you and the amount of counter-space you have.

I also have the Boon Stem, Poke, and White Twig accessories. These are the flower, cactus, and tree accessories shown in the pictures and are sold separately from the drying racks. I use these to dry nipples and other parts. I purchased all three because they were cute additions to the grass patches, but I really only use two at a time. The Poke (cactus) and White Twig are my favorites for drying nipples. The Stem (flower) was wonderful for when I was still breast pumping and needed a safe place to dry the tiny breast pump membranes (filters) after sterilizing. They fit safe and sound in the petals of the Stem. (You can buy the Stem and Poke together to save a few dollars.)

All parts are dishwasher safe which, if you can tell by now, is a huge plus for me!

A con of the Boon Drying Rack is that it doesn’t store as easily as other drying racks, but honestly I use it 24/7, so there is no need to store it. My parents, as I mentioned before, watch Joshua once a week and, therefore, need a smaller, more convenient-to-store option. They have the Munchkin Fold Cup and Bottle Drying Rack. The poles on the drying rack fold down to easily tuck it away in the cabinet. You can only dry so many bottles at a time, so it makes a great addition for family who only watches your baby for short periods.

3. Wubbanubs

I wasn’t planning on using a pacifier with Joshua, but because he was in NICU he has been using a paci since day 1 of his life. I tried several different pacifiers, but he seemed to enjoy pacies shaped like bottle nipples over the normally shaped pacies. Then, I gave him the Wubbanub and our worlds changed. Not only does he have a paci whose shape is more natural to him, but he loves the comfort animals that are attached to them. He holds on tight to his giraffe and deer.

They’re also great for his motor skill development because when his paci falls out he tries to push up on the animals to get it back in his mouth. He does this mostly without success, but the fact that he’s practicing using his hands and thinking critically at a very young age puts a big grin on this mama’s face! The large animal on the end of it also makes it easier to spot in the bottom of a bag than a regular pacifier.

One con of the Wubbanub is that if he is fidgety, he can knock or pull the Wubbanub out of his mouth easier than a regular paci because the animal has a bigger surface area for him to accidentally knock it out. I really don’t mind this because of how much he loves his Wubbanubs, but my parents get annoyed by it and ask that I send him a different paci. So, you may not want to deal with putting it back in his mouth more times than you would a regular pacifier. Another con is that you can’t sterilize it. The animal doesn’t detach from the paci, so you have to use paci wipes to clean it.

4. Paci Wipes

It is common for parents to suck the germs off a pacifier when it falls on the floor, but this could actually be worse for your child. Babies don’t have the bacteria in their mouths that we do and have a very underdeveloped immune system, so by putting a pacifier in their mouth that has just been in your mouth can give them bacteria that can cause gum rot and tooth decay for their sensitive gums and soon-to-be-growing teeth.

My favorite pacifier wipes are Munchkin Arm & Hammer. They are natural wipes with baking soda. I keep a package in my diaper bag so if I drop a paci on-the-go, I can just wipe it off.

Medela also sells breast pump wipes that can be used to clean pacifiers, but they are much more expensive — Munchkin brand is 13 cents cheaper per wipe — so when I was still breast pumping, I just used the Munchkin Arm & Hammer wipes for my breast pump parts as well.

The only con for the paci wipes is that the baking soda must taste a little weird to babies when they first put it in their mouths because my son always makes a face, but it goes away quickly. You can try letting it air dry for a few seconds to see if that gets rid of the taste, but he honestly forgets about it after a few seconds.

5. Tubs for washing bottles

An absolute lifesaver are my washing tubs! When my mom was staying with me in the ER, she asked for some tubs from the hospital staff so we could wash my breast pump parts. I still use them now that I am home and couldn’t imagine life without them. I found some well priced tubs for around $3 each here on Amazon.

I have 3 tubs labeled “Need to Wash,” “Rinse,” and “To be Sterilized.” When I use a bottle, I rinse it out then put it in the “Need to Wash” tub. This separates dirty bottles from the rest of my dishes and keeps them from littering my cabinet. I wash the bottles in this tub just as an extra layer of cleanliness so I’m not washing them in the same place I wash my dishes. As I wash each bottle, I place them in the “Rinse” tub. (My husband rinses them as he washes each bottle and skips the “Rinse” tub, but it just depends on what you’re comfortable with.) When I’m done, I rinse them one by one and put them in the “To be Sterilized” tub. This system is great because I can wash all of my bottles at once, but still have a place to put clean bottles while they are waiting to be put in the sterilizer since I can’t fit them all at once. I used to have a 4th tub labeled “Ready to Use” to put completely assembled bottles in, but they never seem to make it off of my drying racks before I use them, so I put it away.

Baby Gear

6. Versatile Car Seat

When you’re shopping for a car seat, make sure to buy one that serves multiple purposes. We have the Graco Fast Action Fold Jogger Travel System which transitions easily from car seat to stroller.

We chose the jogger model because we live in the country and knew I would need higher quality tires for walks — the tires are basically bicycle tires. I love how easily the stroller folds up to fit in my trunk or the closet. Grandparents and other family members can buy the base separately so they an easily put your car seat in their own vehicle. When Joshua gets bigger, the stroller grows with him and so does the car seat! We will be using this car seat and stroller for years to come.

7. Baby Swing

Joshua absolutely loves the Fisher-Price Cradle ‘n Swing. In the early morning hours when he won’t sleep in his bed, I put him in his swing and it lulls him to sleep. It has 3 swinging positions, 6 swing speeds, 16 songs/sounds, and a moving mobile.

I love how easy it is to change swing positions because he doesn’t always like the same position. I also love how little room it takes up in our small house; it’s only about 3 feet by 3 feet and 44 inches tall. All the padding is machine washable and you can plug in the swing or use batteries.

The only con is that the sounds and mobile only go for about 20 minutes before turning off. Fortunately, the swing will keep going until you stop it. I’ve had him in the swing for up to 4 hours and it hasn’t stopped swinging.

8. Bouncer

He also loves his Fisher-Price Baby’s Bouncer. Once he turned a month old, his naps started getting shorter and shorter, so I keep him in his bouncer in the living room all day so that when he wakes up I can play with him.

I think he loves it so much because he can sit up and look around. He doesn’t like laying on his back too much. The machine itself doesn’t bounce; it only vibrates, which he seems to like, so you have to use your foot to bounce it yourself, which is a con for me. I bounce his bouncer so often that sometimes I find my foot bouncing even when it’s not on the bouncer (say that 10 times fast). Another con for me is that the toy bar makes it inconvenient to put him in and get him out of the bouncer. But you can easily take it off, so I just keep it off unless we’re playing with it which we don’t do often because he isn’t too aware of his surroundings yet.

Clothes

9. Swaddles

We’ve been swaddling babies for thousands of years. Mary knew what she was doing when she wrapped Jesus in swaddling clothes. We don’t just do it to keep them warm. Swaddling your infant is actually beneficial to your baby’s health, as well as your beauty sleep.

Swaddling your child has been proven to reduce the occurrence of SIDS. It also soothes your baby because they feel snug and warm like they did in the womb. An added bonus is that it helps them sleep longer. By swaddling your baby, you keep them from waking themselves up with the Moro reflex. This is a startle reflex that babies have that causes them to flail their arms and legs while sleeping which can wake them up.

We started out with the Amazing Baby Swaddle. Muslin swaddles are great for babies under 7 lbs and newborns. I love how soft and light-weight the Amazing Baby Swaddle is compared to other muslin swaddles I’ve tried. I also love the easy-to-follow instructions that come on the tag (see picture). However, we were only able to use this swaddle for a week because my son was very strong for a newborn and kept kicking it off.

We then moved to the SwaddleMe. I absolutely love this swaddle because it has velcro that makes the swaddling process easy and more difficult for your little one to escape. My son, however, is a mini-Houdini and gets his arms out every once in a while when he’s really mad. It comes in 2 sizes. The small/medium is for 0-3 months, 7-14 lbs, and up to 26 inches. The large is for 3-6 months and 14-18 lbs. There is a hole in the back of the swaddles so you can still swaddle while your baby is in a car seat or swing. I personally don’t use this feature, however, because you should only swaddle while they’re sleeping, and it isn’t recommended by car seat manufacturers to swaddle while in the car seat.

*Now that my son is 3-months-old I found another swaddle he can’t escape from. The April Moon Boutique Swaddle (see picture) ties at the bottom, so my son can’t use his strong legs to kick free (use my code BE4R25 at checkout for 25% off!!!). Each swaddle comes with a matching hat. I am absolutely in love with this swaddle and very sad that he will be growing out of swaddles soon!

Babies are usually ready to stop swaddling between 3-6 months. Here is an article explaining how to know when your baby is ready to stop swaddling.

10. Dollar Tree Socks

Oddly enough, I ended up with no newborn size socks after Joshua’s baby shower. I tried putting him in 0-6 month socks, but they were way too big. My mom found these adorable $1 socks at the Dollar Tree, and they are honestly the only socks I want to have! They are soft, durable, adorable, and cheap! He’s going to grow out of them very quickly, so why bother spending more than $1 per pair, especially when these get the job done just as well?

Technology

11. Baby Monitor

If you’re planning on your little one sleeping in any room that you are not in, you’ll need a baby monitor. I love the Motorola Video Baby Monitor 5″. Many monitors nowadays require WiFi, but being that we live in the country, we needed a monitor that didn’t. The Motorola Baby Monitor is great for that reason as well as multiple others.

It is also a sound machine with 5 different sounds including sounds your baby would hear in the womb. You can talk to your baby through a speaker. The battery life is fantastic. You can move the camera position and zoom in and out from the video screen. It also tells you the room temperature.

The only con is that you can’t turn down the volume on the video monitor without turning down the noise machine. At first this was a problem because it was hard for me to sleep at night with the volume loud enough for me to still hear my son if he cries, but after a week or two it didn’t bother me anymore.

*Now that my son is 3 months, I have had more time to get acquainted with this baby monitor. In the last 3 months, it has shut off in the middle of the night 5 times! I was going to buy a new brand of monitor, but grew tired of reading review after review of every digital monitor having some sort of issue. So, I bought an inexpensive audio-only monitor to use at night as well as the Motorola in case it decides to shut off again. I am very happy with my VTech DM111 Audio Baby Monitor.

12. Baby Thermometer

The easiest way to take a kid’s temperature is with a smart ear thermometer. We have the Kinsa Smart Ear Thermometer. The Kinsa takes just seconds to get a reading. It connects to the Kinsa app on your phone which tracks all family members’ temperatures, symptoms, and when they last took a medication. This comes in handy when you have multiple kids sick and need to keep up with medications or temperature changes. You can also use it for teens and adults. A major pro for this thermometer is the unlimited amount of people you can keep track of. I have looked at other smart thermometers, and many only let you keep track of 3-4 people. The only con, as with any ear thermometer, is that you can’t use it until your child is 6 months old. For accuracy in children under 6 months old, you have to use a rectal thermometer.

13. Kinedu app

The Kinedu app tracks your baby’s physical, cognitive, linguistic, social, and emotional development. When you first download the app, you are prompted with some questions about your child’s current skills. With this information, you are given a daily video to help with development skills they need to work on. The app is free to get a video a day, but if you want access to the unlimited video library you can pay $120 a year. I am currently using the free version and love it. The only con is that sometimes the daily video is a repeat, but I believe that video will repeat until your child develops that skill.

14. Youtube

Another great resource to help with baby development is YouTube or YouTube Kids. You can find ready-made playlists or make a playlist of songs to play for your baby during playtime or nap time. Click here to see my playtime playlist and here for my nap time playlist. I love playing VeggieTales, Silly Songs with Larry, and Baby Einsteins for my son.

I know, I know, it’s a screen, but I rarely show him the screen when I use these apps. I just start the playlist, sit the phone aside, and sing along with the songs and play with him. Every once in a while I show him the screen if the video is colorful to stimulate interest in colors and movement. These apps are great because I easily run out of songs to sing during playtime. I don’t play music for him during nap time because I use the noise machine on my monitor, but I do use it when we’re in the car so he isn’t crying the whole 45 minutes it takes to get to my parents’ house.

For Your Sanity

15. Crib/Changing Table Combo

We live in a very small house, so when we were getting furniture for the nursery I was worried about how I was going to fit a crib and a changing table in one room. I happened upon this wonderful item in the store one day. The Dream on Me Jayden 4-in-1 is a crib and changing table and has a ton of storage! It also grows with your child and becomes a daybed and a twin-size bed.

One con is that the changing pad is an unusual size and I haven’t found any pad covers that fit. However, I ended up just buying a regular size pad cover and pulling it tight underneath the pad. It is also a cheap pad and is kind of thin. I couldn’t find any pads online that would fit this bed, but it really didn’t matter in the end. Your child will only be on the pad for a few minutes and the sides of the changing area are tall enough that they can’t flip off.

16. Baby Shusher

Another absolute miracle for parents is The Baby Shusher — AKA “The Sleep Miracle.” How often do you find yourself shushing your baby to sleep? My record is 1 hour and 22 minutes. This little device does the shushing for you! There is a human voice recorded saying, “shhh.” It has a 30 minute timer and a 15 minute timer, as well as volume control. I just put the shusher in the crib with Joshua and set it to the 30 minute option, THEN GO TO BED! It’s magical! No more nights of waking up every five minutes just to say, “shhh.” I thank God every night for the creators of the Baby Shusher.

17. Mom Planner

I’ve been using an agenda since the 4th grade. My favorite brand that I’ve been using for about 5 years now is the Happy Planner. This year, I have the 2020 Modern Mom Classic Happy Planner. It is specifically made with mothers in mind!

I love the Happy Planner because you can easily remove and add pages and accessories to make it exactly what you need (comment if you would like to see a future post about how I set up my Happy Planner). The Modern Mom planner makes life easier for moms by providing a space every week for an errands list, shopping list, calls/emails list, bills to pay list, and a focus area. Each month has a quote targeted for a busy mom like “Mom hair don’t care” and “You got this, mama” (my personal favorite). I love that all of my lists and planner are together in one place and fit easily in my purse for me to refer to wherever I go.

18. Warmies

What kid doesn’t love a stuffed animal? Warmies Microwaveable Lavender Scented Plushies go a step further than just comforting your child. Warmies are filled with lavender, a scent known for it’s calming qualities, and can be heated in the microwave to relieve stress, tummy aches, anxiety, and colic. You can use this for your child, teen, or yourself!

Newborns are too small to have a stuffed animal in bed with them, so we only use the warmie when Joshua is in our sites. Joshua gets tummy aches often, so we heat up the warmie, put him in his bouncer in the living room with us, and place it on his belly like it’s giving him a hug. It’s safely away from his face and doing its job of warming his tummy and calming him.

Some of the precious animals the Warmies come in are: elephant, s loth, unicorn, co w, and penguin.

19. Ready-to-Drink Formula Bottles

A great product to bring on road trips is ready-to-drink bottles. We use Similac Infant Formula 2 oz, but you need to find one that is exactly what your child drinks so you won’t have a baby with an upset tummy on your hands. These are great for travel because you don’t have to worry about taking the time to get out the formula and making a bottle. These are already made for you and don’t have to be refrigerated. They’re a little expensive, so we only use them for road trips. If you use the Similac Pro-Advance, you can get a 24 pack on Amazon for under $41 and a 48 pack for under $70 (both available at the above link). Some stores sell 4-packs in-store only.

20. Support Team

Probably the most important thing on this list of must-haves is a support team! I have been blessed with so many people who love my husband and me, and my son! I thank God every day for my Mom, Dad, mother-in-law, father-in-law, grandparents, grandparents-in-law, and best friend.

Even if you just have one person you can talk to and confide in, don’t take them for granted. Reach out and find people who care for you and ask them how much they would be willing to help. These people watch my son during my many doctors appointments, give my husband and I nights off for date night, and are a phone call away when I just need to vent. Many of them brought meals for us to freeze before he was born and have surprised us with formula multiple times. I pray God reveals that person or people for you this week!

You do not have to do this alone! Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help. God asks us to bless others. I know it’s hard to ask for help, I’m preaching to the choir, but you have to remember that you may be the person God is asking someone to bless. It also helps me to remember that my son needs me to let go of my pride. Formula is expensive, Mom! Let people bless you. Let people bless your kids! And then one day, you can bless others like you have been blessed!

You’ve got this, Mom! Happy New Year!

5 Scriptures to Pray Over Your Children

Praying over your children is a very important role for you as a parent. Of course it doesn’t happen every day for me, or even multiple times a week … or even weekly, if I’m being completely honest, but when I find myself sometimes during the day or during the dreaded 2 am feeding looking down at my son wondering who he will be when he grows up, I like to say a prayer over his life. What I pray over him varies. Sometimes I pray for him to be a light to the world. Sometimes I pray that he achieves all of his dreams and that he dreams big! Sometimes I pray for his future wife and children. Many times I pray that my husband and I raise him so that his life glorifies God (click here to see my blog post about praying to be a “Good” parent rather than a “good” parent).

In my early twenties, it hit me that some scriptures are just prayers that someone else has written and shared with us. Psalms are love songs written by David and were — and still are to some extent — sung by Jews during important holidays. Job is a prayer of desperation to God during a very difficult time. We learn the Lord’s Prayer in Matthew 6:9-13 and the prayer that begins “The Lord is My Shepherd” in Psalm 23.

During pregnancy, I wrote down 5 verses in my phone that stood out to me about what I wanted to pray over Joshua for his life. When he was born, I wrote the verses on index cards and hung them in his room over his crib. When I’m changing his diaper, I can look up and see the verses above his head. (Check out Project Inspired‘s ideas for areas to hang prayers and scripture.) I encourage you to choose verses that speak to you about your own children. Maybe you will find different verses for each child if you have more than one kid, or maybe all of your children will have the same verses. Maybe you will find dozens of verses and fill up a notebook, or maybe you will find just one verse that you hold near and dear to your heart.

Here are the 5 verses I chose for Joshua:

Joshua 1:9

I have known for a few years that I would name my first son Joshua. I had already planned early on that I would have Joshua 1:9 on his nursery wall in some way. But this verse is even more important to me now than it was when I chose it 3 years before he was born.

My husband and I tried to get pregnant for almost a year. Because I am a two-time cancer survivor, we really had no idea if it would happen. A month before I found out I was pregnant, my verse-of-the-day app started glitching on my phone and I began getting the same verse every day: Joshua 1:9. For some reason, this didn’t hit me that this could be a sign. The morning I found out I was pregnant, I began to weep realizing that God had been trying to tell me for a month that I was pregnant. But still, silly me wondered if it would be a boy or a girl. When we found out the gender, I realized yet again that God had already told me what I wanted to know.

When you pray this verse over your child, you are praying that they will have the strength to follow God all the days of their life and that they will not be dismayed if and when they make mistakes. You are praying that they know God is always with them no matter what.

1 Samuel 1:27-28

As we were trying to get pregnant, I thought a lot about Hannah, the mother of Samuel. She prayed so hard to become pregnant and promised God that she would give her son back to the Lord. She did this by leaving her child at the temple to learn to be a priest. Though I don’t plan to leave Joshua on my preacher’s doorstep at a young age for him to learn to preach, I do pray this verse over my son to dedicate his life to God. I have a burp cloth that I was given after he was born that has this verse on it. I lay it under his head when I change his diaper because the changing pad gets cold, but I also love the symbolism of his head laying on the verse multiple times a day.

Praying this verse is thanking God for the gift He has given you and petitioning Him to help you do all you can to raise your children in His Ways. You are praying that your child sees God’s love in all of your actions, and that even when you are not mindfully raising him or her up to know God, you are still showing God’s light by just living your life.

Jeremiah 29:11

You probably know this verse by heart. We tend to see it on graduation cards every year. I love taking the time to really look at this verse because I feel like we tend to take it for granted by seeing it so much.

By praying this verse over your children, you are praying that they know that God loves them enough to have a plan for them. You are praying that they find that calling early on in life and follow that passion all the days of their lives. You are praying that they understand that even when it feels like the whole world is against them, God has something spectacular planned for their lives.

Psalm 139:13-14

Some versions of this verse say, “fearfully set apart.” It is important to teach your children what it means to be “set apart.” We are called to act differently than those who don’t believe. This doesn’t mean we should act superior, but that we should love all through our actions and words, guard our hearts, and seek God’s Will for our lives.

Praying this verse over your child is praying that they grow up realizing that God is the Creator and He loves each and every one of us individually as a father loves his children. You are praying that your kids know that love from an early age and feel it throughout their lives.

Proverbs 22:6

When you pray this verse, you are praying that God guides you in raising your child. You are praying that God helps you to raise up a man or woman of God, and when your child becomes an adult, they will remember how they were raised and use those lessons to guide their decisions. You are also praying that, one day, you will be able to let go and let your children become adults and make their own choices because you know that you have done the best you can do in training them to be a follower of Christ.

This post isn’t meant to stress you out by giving you one more thing to add to your Mommy To-Do List. You don’t need to spend a whole day hunting through your Bible for the perfect verses to match your child.

You can just be mindful when you hear verses you like in church, on a Christian radio station, or scrolling through Facebook, and add them to the notes section on your phone to be able to refer to whenever you think about it. You could keep a Pinterest board of verses you like handy if you are a pin-fanatic like me (click here to follow my “Scriptures to Pray as a Parent” board on Pinterest). Or you can skip the list and just pray over your kids when the thought pops into your head. There is no right way to do this.

You could set an alarm on your phone daily, weekly, or monthly to remind yourself. You could tape an index card with a verse on your bathroom mirror or your sun visor in your car to say out loud when you see it. You could even get your kids involved in the prayer by taking turns praying over everyone’s day on the way to school each morning.

Think of an easy, non-stressful way that works for you to add praying for your kids to your life.

You’ve got this, Mom.

Finding the Joy in Christmas

“Stop Striving for Perfection. Strive for JOY!”

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year.” So, why doesn’t it feel like it?

It’s five days until Christmas. The stockings aren’t hung by the chimney with care. The halls aren’t decked with boughs of holly, fa la la la, NAH. We didn’t take any decorations out of storage because I didn’t want to deal with a newborn and Christmas decorations. Not to mention, I live in Texas and it’s 72 outside, so forgive me if I’m not really feeling the Christmas spirit.

Honestly, I’m not upset about it. I’m just enjoying time with my newborn. But some have judged me for not making Joshua’s first Christmas a big deal.

“You’re not putting up stockings?”

“You’re not at least getting the tree out?”

“What about Christmas pictures? He has to take Christmas pictures!”

Sometimes I wonder if they’re right and if, one day in the future, Joshua is going to ask me where the pictures are of his first Christmas. Will he be upset with me for not having those memories?

Because my son was born this November, a lot of the lullabies I sing him are Christmas songs — O, Holy Night, Joy to the World, and O Come All Ye Faithful, to name a few — and at 2 am when I’m tired beyond belief leaning over the side of his crib singing “oh come let us adore him” for the 30^th time, I can’t help but think about Mary singing to 1-month-old baby Jesus as Joseph holds the pillow over his own ears in hopes that he can get just one more hour of sleep.

We all know Mary was a teenager when she got the message from the angel.

“You want me to do WHAT?!?! This is a joke, right?”

That’s what I would be saying if an angel came to me as a teen and told me I was about to carry the Son of God. I’m 26 and barely know what I’m doing with a baby as an adult!

As Christians, we tend to believe that Mary had it all together – as we tend to believe all the other mothers of the world do. Newsflash! Mary and Joseph lost Jesus for 3 whole days when he was 12 (Luke 2:41-52). I don’t know about you, but that right there takes a whole lot of pressure off of my shoulders.

I know what you’re thinking. “Every mother besides me has it all figured out. They have a tree in every room carefully themed to incite the most Christmas magic in their children. The Elf on the Shelf is currently doing backflips through flour in the kitchen. They took their family Christmas pictures in July and were the first in line to see Santa the moment he stepped into the mall on December 1^st at 10 am.”

While those mothers probably do exist – Karen – they are probably 1 out of a billion and something it is not necessary to strive for. Your kids do not need every inch of the house decorated. Do not need to be the first in line to see Santa. Do not need a tree in every room of the house or 15 presents per kid to know how much you love them. What is this time of year really about? Family. Love. Fellowship. Jesus.

This time of year is not meant to stress you out! The song says “it’s the most wonderful time of the year.” There are no sad songs about Christ’s birth. We are meant to rejoice about the Good News.

“You will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at His birth.”

Luke 1:14

“But the angel said unto them, ‘Fear not: for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.”

Luke 2:10

Mary was a mother figuring it all out, just like you and me. The most important lesson we can take from Mary as a mother is that in all of her anxiety — because she sure did have a lot to be anxious about — she always looked to God. She didn’t complain to the angel when he gave her the message. She didn’t tell God, “No, I can’t do this. Choose someone else. You’ve got the wrong girl.” Instead, she said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word (Luke 1:38).”

It’s so cool — and terrifying — to think that God chose you to be the mother of your children. He looked at you and thought, “That is the perfect person to take care of Little Johnny and Little Susan. They need this specific mother to raise them up in such a way that they accomplish the plans I have for them.” The All-Knowing God chose you because He knows that YOU’VE GOT THIS!

No matter what time of year it is, when you feel anxious about being the “perfect” mother, just remember Mary and her strength during what was one of the scariest things she ever had to do. Take comfort that God had a plan for her and He has a plan for you, as well. Rejoice that when times are hard, God will help you through, just like He helped Mary.

Simplifying the Holidays:

I know it’s going to be hard, but I would like to encourage you, Mom, to simplify Christmas. What are you doing too much of that is making this time of year the most dreadful? What can you cut back on to allow yourself to enjoy every moment? Your kids will only have this year’s Christmas once. On December 26, will you be able to look back at this month’s memories and say you enjoyed it or that you were counting down the days to put the tree back in the attic?

Here’s an activity you can do with your kids. Ask them to make a list of the top 3 most important traditions you do in December. Now ask them to make a list of 3 things they have grown out of or don’t look forward to doing this time of year. Even though it’s probably too late to cut back on things this year, this will help you begin to let go of things for next year.

My three most favorite traditions are making M&M cookies at my parents’ house, finding a large candy cane in my stocking, and watching Hallmark Christmas movies with my mom. Those are the most important traditions to me this time of year!

In terms of simplifying, I simplified the gifts. My husband and I haven’t bought Christmas gifts for each other in two years. I handmade all Joshua’s aunt, uncle, and grandparent presents this year, which I absolutely love doing. Not having to worry about spending hundreds of dollars on presents and getting the perfect gift for all 20 people on our list is exactly what my husband and I felt we needed to cut back on to thoroughly enjoy this holiday again. We wanted our Christmas memories to be about quality time with the family rather than stressing about having enough money for bills and presents.

My husband and I decided we wanted this time of year to be about Jesus and family. In a few years, we will start taking Joshua to volunteer in soup kitchens after Christmas. I want this time of year to be about giving, not getting, for him and our family.

When my son is an adult and has his own family and I ask him what the most important Christmas traditions for him were, I don’t want him to say, “opening presents and standing in line for Santa.” I want his favorite memories to be about Jesus, family, and giving.

Society says your role as Mom is to make Christmas perfect for everyone else which, in turn, can ruin Christmas for you. You can still make Christmas magical for your kids while enjoying every second of it. You can make one batch of Christmas cookies instead of 30. You can just buy presents for immediate family instead of for the whole neighborhood, all your church friends, and your 5 kids’ best friends. You can pull out those Christmas PJs from last year instead of buying new ones every year. You can go a year without sending a Christmas newsletter to your great-uncle Bob whom you met once when you were 9 because you know it’s just going to end up in the trash.

CHECK OUT MY FAVORITE PINTEREST IDEAS ON HOW TO HAVE A STRESS-FREE CHRISTMAS:

There are many ideas on Pinterest for getting your kids 3-4 symbolic and meaningful gifts. Here’s one of my favorites. The Highland Park United Methodist Church blog encourages getting kids 4 gifts: something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read. They also include Bible verses to go with each gift.

Click here to learn more.

Mommy on Purpose discusses how to have a stress-free Christmas with toddlers and pre-school age kids. She suggests not over-scheduling, knowing your kids’ limits, and suppressing the urge to over-do it with the sugar.

Click here to read her article.

Clean Eating with Kids provides a free printable Christmas planner titled The Peacefilled Christmas Planner to help you with creating “a holiday budget that won’t break the bank,” storing all of your holiday recipes in one place, and more.

Click here to get the planner.

Mom, stop striving for the PERFECT Christmas, and start striving for a JOYFUL Christmas, “for you and your kin!”

You’ve got this, Mom!

Follow my Pinterest Holiday Activities and Hacks board to get more incredible gift and activity ideas for each holiday!

Let Daddy Be Daddy

“For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother,

and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”

Genesis 2:24

As a Christian couple, you and your husband are a team. So why should that be any different when it comes to raising your child?

All throughout my pregnancy – and in the last month since my son was born – I keep catching myself saying “my child” or “my son” rather than “our son.” I know this could just be a slip of the tongue, but it bothers me because deep down I know the control-freak in me believes it.

I carried him for 9 months. I did the research on what sleep positions, play time activities, etc. are best for him. I stay home all day with him. He is my son more than anyone else’s, right?

Wrong.

It’s hard for me to give up control, especially on someone who depended solely on me for 40 weeks and 3 days for nurturing and protection.

But I have to remember that my husband and I are one flesh, one team; not a mom and her husband, but a mom and a dad. Two parents to our son Joshua who love him equally and, therefore, equally want what’s best for him.

So how does someone who just wants everything to go her way give up that control to someone else? It’s not easy. Every moment is a struggle. But here are some things I have to remember that help me in that struggle.

1. You need “me-time.”

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If you raise this child all on your own with no help from Dad, you will never have time to yourself. My husband and I work in shifts. He usually gets home about 6 pm. As soon as he is out of the shower, it is his shift with Joshua. I am free to do whatever I want. We eat at 7 pm and then by 7:30 I am in bed until midnight. Hubby wakes me up at midnight and tells me when Joshua last ate. My shift then begins until 6 pm the next evening.

During my husband’s shift, I have the mind-set of “I am off-duty. I have no say.” If my husband asks me how long to keep Joshua awake or what time he should bathe him, I tell him, “It’s your shift. It’s up to you.” It was hard the first time and less hard the second time. But now, I enjoy the freedom of not having to worry if he’s getting fed or changed or played with. My husband is a competent man. And guess what, so is your husband! He puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like you. He makes a living doing whatever job he does. He can handle the baby for a few hours while you have some “you-time.

2. Dad needs to figure out how to be Dad.

You know how important it is for baby to bond with Mom, but it is just as important for baby to bond with Dad. I’m a stay-at-home-mom, so Joshua is bonding with me all day. We’re not having any trouble on finding the time to bond.

But it’s different for Dad. Dad is away from home for 9-12 hours every day. He needs every chance he can get to bond with baby.

One of the best pieces of advice I ever got about parenting with my husband was to “let Dad figure out how to be Dad.”

I spent 5 days in the hospital while Joshua was in NICU. My husband, unfortunately, had to go back to work the day after he was born. And because we live almost 2 hours away from the hospital where I delivered, he couldn’t come back to see me and Joshua.

While in the hospital, I learned how to feed him, burp him, and change his diaper. I learned what songs helped him fall asleep. I got to know him in a way my husband was missing out on.

When I got home, I felt like a “pro” compared to my husband. The control-freak and the teacher inside of me wanted to stand over my husband’s shoulder and tell him everything he was doing “wrong.” I wanted to hold his hands, literally, and guide him in bottle feeding and diaper changing. But instead, I followed the advice I was given. I told him once how to do something and then I let him figure it out – just like I did in the hospital. If he had a question, he could come ask me, but besides that I left him alone to figure it out.

And guess what? The house didn’t burn down. Joshua didn’t starve or poop everywhere. And Dad ended up teaching me some things about what Joshua likes and dislikes. He even tends to be better at putting on diapers than me.

3. Baby needs to bond with Daddy, too.

Previous generations may not be familiar with “skin-to-skin,” but this generation of moms tend to hear over and over about how important it is. Skin-to-skin, or holding your bare-chested baby on your bare chest, has so many benefits for you and baby. This includes temperature control, regulating heartbeat, enabling breastfeeding, bonding, reducing crying, and reducing risk of postpartum depression.

There are benefits for Dad and baby when the two have skin-to-skin contact as well. Just as Mom and baby get a rush of hormones that can calm both down, Dad can get these hormones too. By having baby on Dad’s bare chest, the two can bond as well as regulate temperature and the heartbeat of baby. Dads can also get a form of postpartum depression, so skin-to-skin is just as important for Dad as it is for you.

For my fellow control-freaks, it can be hard to give up control even just for half an hour. But you have to remember that if you don’t let someone else handle it, you will burn out –and at the end of that road is postpartum depression. You are no good to your child if you end up getting PPD. You have to take care of yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually, or you won’t be able to take care of your child. Fortunately, God provided you with a life-partner to help you raise your child, and He established the spiritual motivation in him to help you.

“For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children

and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord

by doing what is right and just . . .”

Genesis 18:19

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring

them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Ephesians 6:4

“For you know that we deal with each of you as a father deals

with his own children, encouraging, comforting, and urging you to

live lives worthy of God, who calls you into His kingdom and glory.”

1 Thessalonians 2:11-12

“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward

from Him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children

born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them . . .”

Psalm 127:3-5

My prayer for you:

Mom, I pray that you will give up control to those who want to help you. I pray you find the time to have “me-time.” I pray you never know the struggle of PPD, but if you do that you will be delivered from it. I pray for your husband that he may fill his spiritual role and do his part in guiding your child in the Way of the Lord. I pray he does not get discouraged as he learns how to take care of your child and that the two of you will speak to each other with words of encouragement during this trying time.

Amen.

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